In the Amasya region a wedding is not the event of a single day. Months pass between the request for the bride's hand and the promise, between the promise and the engagement, between the engagement and the wedding itself, and the wedding week is a sequence of ceremonies running from Friday to Sunday, each day with its own name and its own duties. Every link in this chain is arranged to carry the bride and groom from bachelorhood into marriage and to bring two families closer together. The henna night is the best-known link, yet without knowing what comes before and after it, it is hard to see why it is a night meant to make the bride weep.

Practices vary from district to district and even from village to village. In Merkez, Merzifon, Gümüşhacıköy, Suluova, Taşova, Göynücek and Hamamözü the same step is performed under different names and with different details. Each example below therefore belongs to the place where it is recorded and should not be generalized to the whole region.

The Road to Marriage

The marrying age in the region is reported to be around twenty, monogamy is the norm, and there is a strong preference for marrying a relative or at least a family that is known. One reason is to keep inheritance from being divided; another is the wish that the bride or groom come from the same culture and a familiar setting. A young man who wants to marry does not say so outright. He turns one of his father's shoes upside down, sometimes nails a shoe to the threshold, or wears his shoes on the wrong feet in his father's presence; the meaning is "marry me off." Young women show their wish by an unusual liveliness, or by quarrelling with the family. For girls whose fortune is thought to be "tied," people visit the tombs of saints, and on Fridays at the hour of the call to prayer a lock is opened with the intention "may my fortune open like this."

When a man of marrying age has a particular girl in mind, a first visit is made to her house. The girl is asked for water, and the cleanliness of the glass and the carpets and the order of the house are noted. If the impression is good and the young people like each other, matchmakers go a few days later; this is called dünür düşme in the region. The elders of the groom's side visit the girl's house, and in the course of conversation the eldest raises the matter, saying, "By God's command and the Prophet's word, we ask for your daughter for our son." The girl's family replies, "If it is fate, it will be." The girl is not given at once; several visits are made. If the girl's family is inclined to agree, they inquire about the groom's side and, if satisfied, send word asking them to come.

After this message the söz kesme, the betrothal ceremony, is held. The elders of the groom's side gather at the girl's house, promise rings are put on the bride and groom, and the dates of the engagement and wedding and the wishes of the girl's family are discussed and settled. Once the word is given, the bride and groom candidates kiss the hands of those present, prayers are said, and sherbet is drunk or Turkish delight eaten so that everything may go sweetly. The engagement is usually held at the girl's house on a weekend. To invite guests, someone from the groom's house goes from door to door and leaves a sweet or an invitation at each; this person is called the okuyucu, the "reader." The guests are fed, the gifts they bring are announced in a loud voice by a strong-voiced person and turned over the head of the bride seated in the middle, and jewelry is pinned on. If a religious holiday falls during the engagement, sacrificial animals and gifts are sent to the girl's house. Gifts brought by the groom's side to the bride on festivals such as Hıdırellez are also still a habit in the region.

Preparations Before the Wedding

As the wedding day approaches, the shopping trip called eksik görme is held again, as before the engagement. The bride's mother with a close relative, and from the groom's household the groom, his mother and his father, go shopping. Things needed for the new home are bought and the wedding dress and other clothing are completed. A suitable gift, such as a shirt or a skirt, is bought for those who accompany the bride; presents like shirt fabric, dress fabric and socks are considered for the girl's relatives. Foodstuffs for the wedding feast, such as meat, rice and oil, are also obtained at this time.

In the Alpaslan township of Taşova, the goods consisting of meat, rice, oil, the dowry chest and the gifts bought for the bride are sent to the girl's house by vehicle, to the sound of drum and zurna, on Friday before the wedding begins. In the region this is called aşboğaz or seysana. Field research notes that the same practice is also known by other names such as kalın, yük, ağruk, tohumluk, tohum çıkarma, kaftanlık and cins götürme, and that the goods include wheat, meat, oil, flour, black broad beans and poppy seed, candles, snacks and sherbet ingredients for the bride's bath, and gifts called ana donluğu for the girl's mother and kardeş yolluğu for her brother. The bedding and other household goods the groom's parents have prepared for the couple, a decorated broom, a mirror and a large candle are among the objects of symbolic meaning in the load.

This load is carried to the girl's house, to the sound of drum and zurna, by a crowd made up mostly of unmarried young men. The goods are not accepted easily. The kızbaşıs, the girl's friends who stand for her house, meet the young men and, as a condition of accepting the goods, first make them pay for sherbet; then they make the young men dance until the head kızbaşı says "enough." According to the researcher Rahime Deveci, this practice marks the beginning of the wedding at the girl's house, since the wedding is regarded as begun once the goods arrive, and it shows that the bride has been definitively given to the other side. Dancing here serves as a price; the bride and what belongs to her lie beyond a threshold that cannot be crossed without payment.

The Flag, the Drum and the Opening of the Wedding

The wedding is announced at the groom's house, usually on Friday, when the drum and zurna begin to play. To mark the wedding house, a flag is raised at the groom's home; at the same time the düğün kahyası and the yiğitbaşı are chosen. The kahya is the experienced person who runs all the work of the wedding, and the yiğitbaşı is the person who leads the unmarried young men. The bride and the groom candidate each choose their own sağdıç, an experienced relative who attends to all their affairs throughout the wedding. Guests who arrive are fed before the wedding starts, which is called danışık yedirme.

Raising the flag in Merzifon is a ceremony in its own right. The congregation coming out of Friday prayers gathers in front of the wedding house under the lead of the imam and the hosts. The flag is spread on a table, the imam prays, the pole is decorated with strips of coloured paper, and an onion and a few rooster feathers are fixed to the top. Once the flag is attached to the pole, it is hung from a high point of the house amid the blessings of the crowd. Then, to the Genç Osman March, a dance called Babayiğit is performed. Danced in pairs to drum, zurna, clarinet and dümbelek, its theme is valour; the dancers face each other, step forward on tiptoe, crouch and rise, and shout as they circle one another.

That a dance is performed at the opening of a wedding is common across the region, though the type of dance changes with the place. In some villages of Gümüşhacıköy and Merzifon, immediately after the drum is struck and the flag is raised, Esenyel is danced in front of the host's house; women and men join hands in a great circle, and after a while the drum and zurna fall silent and the dancers sing together the verse beginning "Esen yel olacaksın hayda nay." The same dance is also the first dance of the henna night at the girl's house. In the Akdağ villages of Suluova the wedding is opened by the Baş Halay, danced after the drum has sounded and the flag has been raised, just before the sack of wheat for keşkek is loaded on the groom's back, while the young men who will go to pound keşkek in the stone mortar are gathered in front of the groom's house. In Göynücek and its surrounding villages the dance that opens the wedding is known as Temur Ağa or Dik Topuk, and it is the first dance of every gathering such as an engagement or a wedding. In Circassian settlements, for the young people to get to know one another, the Wuıc is danced at the beginning and the end of the wedding, and at the head of the girls' and boys' groups stand the hatiyago, a woman and a man who act as managers of the wedding.

Dolma Wrapping and Wedding Meals

On the day before the wedding, a gathering called dolma dürme or dolma gecesi is held at the wedding house. At the hour announced over the loudspeaker, neighbours and female relatives come to wrap stuffed vine leaves and peppers. One does not usually go empty-handed; aşlık, bulgur and similar ingredients are brought. The dolma that are wrapped are prepared for the women guests, and the pilaf, soup and döner for the men. In the Boraboy township of Taşova the wedding dolma is remarked on in its own right. The meals are cooked the day before or early in the morning. According to regional records, the wedding meals used to be chosen from the local cuisine, such as chickpeas, fresh beans and aubergine dishes, while in recent years the table has been moving toward a uniform menu of döner, pilaf and soup. The groom's house pays all the costs of the wedding.

The Bride's Bath and the Groom's Bath

On Saturday morning the bride is taken to the bath with her friends and relatives; in the evening a separate bath is held for the groom. Deveci's 2023 study treats these baths, together with the henna night, as the stage of the wedding that detaches the bride and groom from their former state. Before the bride's bath, a mood of mourning prevails at the girl's house across the region. In the Merkez villages of Uygur, Sevincer and Yağcıabdal a practice called yas tutma is performed. Women and girls form a circle and a long cushion is placed in the middle; the bride is brought with her head and face covered by a black cloth, turned three times around the cushion, and seated on it facing the qibla. Her mother sits beside her, the two embrace and weep, and the mother places a little henna on her daughter's head. Then the paternal aunt, the maternal aunt and the other female relatives embrace the bride in turn, and each one who embraces her sings a lament. In Yağcıabdal, while the bride weeps on the cushion with her relatives, another woman sings a lament; in the villages of Davutevi and Ardıçpınar in Göynücek the lament is sung by an âşık.

The bath has its own order, too. In Merzifon, after being washed, the bride is made to dance, turning round and round, around the göbek taşı, the heated marble slab of the bath. In Gümüşhacıköy, while the bride is washed on the göbek taşı, young girls holding lit candles form a ring around her and circle, singing hymns, until the washing is done. In Suluova the bride, once washed, is dressed and then made to dance on the göbek taşı, striking the bath bowl as she turns. In Hamamözü the line forms with the bath attendant in front, the bride behind her, a newly married bride on the bride's right and a girl on her left, followed by more girls and brides; to the voices of women who recite hymns, everyone but the bride holds lit candles and circles the göbek taşı three times, then a silk peştamal is spread over the bride's head, she is seated on the göbek taşı, and coins scattered over her head are snatched by small girls. Friends pouring a bowl of water over the bride is a practice commonly recorded in the region's field notes. Young girls throwing soap where the bride will walk so that she slips, hiding her belongings, and teasing her with jokes to make her angry are also a regular part of the bath. Deveci connects these with the theory that in the threshold phase of rites of passage the candidate is for a time placed in a difficult position.

For the groom, before the bath, old clothes are put on him and torn apart by the young men; in the more common practice, whatever the season, he is taken to be washed in his underwear or pyjamas. In Merzifon this is called güvey paralama. On the night before the groom's bath, at nightfall a simsim fire is lit and the young men play simsim; when the groom is brought to the square, the unmarried men form a half-moon around the fire, tear the clothing above his waist, and each young man uses the piece he has seized as a handkerchief in the games played that night.

The Henna Night

The henna night is held on Saturday evening at the girl's house. The name of the night varies by place in the region: kıziçi, kızbaşı gecesi or ana kınası. The bride's female relatives and friends are invited, and also some women from the groom's side. The henna, kneaded by the girl's mother, is set in the middle of a tray and candles are stood around it. The bride is dressed in what is called a henna set, pyjamas bought for the henna night; in some accounts, a regional dress is mentioned instead, the bindallı, made of velvet, embroidered with gold thread, in red or burgundy. The bride is seated in the middle of the room and made to weep while henna songs and hymns are sung. Weeping is the purpose of the night; the tears carry the sorrow of leaving her father's hearth. Gold is placed in her palm and the henna applied, and in some places the task of applying it is left to a woman with a happy marriage, such as the mother-in-law.

The manner of making the bride weep varies by area. In the Merkez villages of Kızseki, Vermiş and Yenice, the bride, her head covered with a thin cloth, is seated on a mattress spread on the floor; young girls form a ring around her and pass the henna tray from hand to hand, circling her to the songs "yüksek yüksek tepelere" or "kınayı getir aney" until the bride weeps. When she weeps, roasted chickpeas sent from the groom's house are thrown one by one at her head. In Taşova, with one of the kızbaşıs holding the henna tray and the other girls and young brides holding lit candles, they circle clockwise around the bride, who sits on the floor or a chair with her face covered by a red kerchief; from time to time the cloth is lifted to see whether she is weeping, and if she is not, the song and the circling go on. In Gümüşhacıköy the bride is seated in the middle and the Kız Oyunu, danced only by young girls, is performed; in the Merkez villages of Kızoğlu and İbecik, a dance called Ellik is danced around the bride with her face covered. In Davutevi, one of the Sıraç villages of Göynücek, after the henna is applied the bride is taken away for a short rest and, when she returns, the Semah is danced; that the bride herself dances is a detail that sets this village apart from other places. In Uygur and the surrounding Alevi-Bektashi villages, elderly women crouch in a ring around the bride seated on a long cushion and sing songs in praise of the bride until the henna is finished, then recite the salawat; a child who has not reached adolescence, the first child of his or her mother, has a red kerchief called peçoro tied on the right arm and holds a candle at the bride's right side until the henna is complete.

Among the region's henna songs there is one recorded in the local dialect that carries the bride's words as follows: "Hanı bu gızın anası, önünde mumlar yanası, yeşil yaprahdan gınası, anam beni gelin mi eddin." The refrain is the same in every stanza and reads like a reproach in which the bride questions her passage into a new life in her own voice. According to Deveci's finding, it is no accident that the colour of the materials used on the henna night, the henna itself, the cloth on the tray, the gloves and the dress the bride wears, is mostly red. The researcher interprets red as a colour associated in old cultures with life, fertility and rebirth.

Taking the Henna and the Groom's Henna

Another side of the henna night is the groom's party coming to take the henna. The groom, his sağdıç and the young men arrive at the girl's house to the sound of drum and zurna. The henna, ready and kneaded at the girl's house, is sold to the groom's sağdıç for a set tip, on a tray surrounded by candles, snacks, towels and handkerchiefs; the sağdıç in turn sells it to the groom at a higher price. In a village a chicken is also taken from the girl's house. After the henna is taken, they return to the groom's house dancing as they go.

This bargaining is made difficult on purpose. In the example Deveci reports, before handing over the henna the kızbaşı says in a loud voice, "Lads, if you do not dance a halay I will not give the henna," makes the young men dance for a while and, if she finds the dancing sufficient, moves on to bargaining. The yiğitbaşı buys the henna for a certain fee. Besides the henna the tray holds snacks, many candles, buns with poppy seed and walnuts, towels, handkerchiefs and, in some villages, kindling to light the simsim fire. In recent years it has also become common for the kızbaşıs to put on a show in costumes and with drums obtained from wedding-organization companies. In Hamamözü the test is aimed at the groom himself. After the bride's henna is applied, the groom's house invites the girl's house to the wedding for the groom's henna; the girl's side comes to the sağdıç's house where the groom has been hiding throughout the wedding, a mızıka begins to play, the groom is called outside, and the bride's friends make him dance until he tires and his sağdıç comes to rescue him. Only after this is the groom's henna applied.

When the groom's henna is applied, the sağdıç dips his finger into the henna, raises his hand, and counts one, two, three. The unmarried young men try to reach the hennaed finger; whoever gets the henna first is believed to be the first to marry. The remaining henna is shared among the groom's friends with the words "may it be your turn, bachelors." At the girl's house, meanwhile, friends stay with the bride and groom through the night. During this night the names of unmarried girls are written under the bride's shoe, and toward morning whoever's name has been rubbed out is believed to be the next to marry.

A separate henna is held at the groom's house. Called the simsim night in the region, it passes around a fire lit with kindling that was taken with the henna from the girl's house. A great fire is lit in the village square, the yiğitbaşı calls out "daradura gel gel, simsime gel," and the guests sit in a ring around the fire. The person who starts the game must be someone older, respected and self-assured. The player, spreading his arms like a wrestler about to wrestle, circles the fire; as the drum and zurna move from slow rhythm to fast, his movements quicken too; at one point another player leaps in and tries to punch the first on the back, and if he lands the blow he takes his place. The authority to close the game also belongs only to a respected person; he takes a half-burned log from the fire and hurls it far away, and after that simsim is no longer played. Simsim is also played as a "small simsim" on the night before the henna night, reserved only for the village's unmarried men. Deveci interprets the fire as the symbol of the hearth of the newly founded family.

Taking the Bride

The bride is taken on Sunday. The bride's car is decorated, and a convoy made up of the vehicles of relatives, friends, neighbours and acquaintances goes to the bride's house. The girl's house attaches gifts such as a yemeni headscarf, chiffon or towels to the cars that arrive. At the door young girls do not open it so as to wring out tips, and sit on the bride's dowry chest. The düğün kahyası pays the tips, the doors are opened and the bride's dowry is carried out. The müjde yastığı, the "good-news cushion" taken while the dowry is loaded, is brought to the groom's house, meaning "the bride is coming," and given to the waiting mother-in-law in return for a tip. The bride's brother ties a red kardeş kuşağı, a "brother's sash," around her waist. After the bride bids farewell to her relatives, her father hands her over to those who have come for her and prayers are said.

In Hamamözü the dance also serves as a price when the bride is taken. The young men of the groom's party who have come for the bride are met by young women and men who stand for the girl's house, the two sides pair up and dance, and money is taken to end the torment. How long the dance lasts is up to the side giving the bride. In the account of one source person, those who take the bride are told, "you are taking our only daughter," and asked for a thousand or two thousand, and are even jokingly threatened with having water poured on them.

Welcome at the Groom's House

The bride is paraded around and brought to the groom's house. The father-in-law does not let the bride get out of the car until he has given a tip. Before the bride enters the house, the groom scatters snacks and coins over her from a high place; in some places the mother-in-law breaks a pot with coins in it instead. This is said to be done so that she may be rid of bad habits and bring abundance. It is recorded that the practice is also seen as the bride breaking a wooden spoon with her foot. The bride is made to step on a lamb's fleece, so that she may be gentle as a lamb; the butter placed in her hand she smears on the threshold, so that she may melt like butter and warm to her new home; an iron basin is put under her feet to step over, so that she may be as firm as iron.

Once inside, the bride is seated on her own dowry chest facing the qibla. In some accounts a baby boy is placed in her lap. The bride hands out sweets to her mother-in-law, her sisters-in-law and those present, with the wish "may we speak sweetly." People come from around to see the bride. The wedding ends with jewelry being pinned on the bride and groom. On Saturday the girl's and the boy's sides come together in a wide open space in villages, and in a wedding hall in towns; people enjoy themselves to music and refreshments are offered to the guests.

After the wedding night a women's ceremony called duvak is held in the region. According to Deveci's record, before the bride leaves her father's house, her head is wrapped in the process called baş bağlama, a veil is tied over it, her dress is put on, her sash is tied and finally the bridal veil is drawn over her. After the veil is lifted, the fringe is cut; according to the source persons, the fringe is a sign of being married. In Merzifon and Gümüşhacıköy the bride's hair is braided with black wool between the strands so that the braids are thick and long, and in the end a crown is placed on her head. In the villages of Uygur, Yağcıabdal and Ardıçlar the hair is tied with coloured thread, a yaşmak is wrapped and then the headdress is placed. In Göynücek a börk is put on the head and threads, one red and one green, are strung across the forehead. After this the bride is given wheat in her right hand and barley in her left; a woman who plays the tambourine and sings walks in front, and the bride follows, scattering wheat and barley as she dances and turns.

Spreading and Hanging the Dowry

Preparing the dowry begins in the region when a girl is small. Mother, father and close relatives prepare embroidery, lace, knitting and various household textiles; the chest, quilts, pillows, sheets, towels, kitchenware, clothing and jewelry are the main parts of the dowry. The dowry is taken from the bride's house a few days before the wedding, brought to the groom's house and displayed; the groom's house offers food and tea to those who come to see it. This display also serves to introduce the bride's family's means and the bride's skill to neighbours and relatives.

In Taşova there is a special form of displaying the dowry. According to the tradition called çeyiz asma, the work the bride has prepared is hung on strings and placed for a few days before the eyes of the villagers. A news report published in September 2024 says that the custom has hardly been practised in recent years, and that Eylem Yasemin Koçak, aged 26, of the Gemibükü village of Taşova, displayed her dowry in a room for four days before her wedding. It says her dowry consisted of about 500 pieces and took ten years to prepare, and her grandmother said the custom used to be more widespread, but that girls without a dowry had no way of taking part.

What Has Changed and What Continues

In recent years the region's wedding tradition has both been simplified and been carried on in various forms. The wedding in the village square has been replaced in towns by the wedding hall, meals have become uniform, and the resistance the girl's house shows through dance has in some places taken the shape of a show. The bride-taking convoy today is made up of cars. Deveci's study notes that the original meaning of many of these practices has been forgotten over time and that other explanations from today's viewpoint have taken its place. Details such as making the bride weep at the henna night, the roasted chickpeas thrown at her head, and unmarried hands reaching for the groom's henna are still alive in the region and are the first scenes that come to mind when a wedding is described.

The Days of the Wedding

The region's wedding week can be set out, following the order reported in the sources, as follows. On Friday the drum and zurna start to play, the flag is raised, the kahya and the yiğitbaşı are chosen, the load called aşboğaz or seysana is sent to the girl's house, and the danışık meal is given to guests. On Saturday morning comes the bride's bath, in the evening the groom's bath, and then the henna nights; the groom's house goes to the girl's house to take the henna. On Sunday the bride is taken, welcomed at the groom's house, and jewelry is pinned on. Dolma wrapping is held at the wedding house a day before these. This order is not followed identically throughout the region; days and names change with the district and the village.

Sources

Academic studies

  • Deveci, Rahime. "Amasya Yöresi Düğünlerinde İcra Edilen Dansların Ritüel İşlevleri." Dede Korkut Uluslararası Türk Dili ve Edebiyatı Araştırmaları Dergisi, issue 31, August 2023, pp. 72-101.

Official sources

  • Amasya Kültür Portalı, Kültür Atlası: "Amasya Düğün Öncesi Hazırlıkları ve Düğün" (Gelenekler-Görenekler). kulturportali.gov.tr

Other sources

  • Amasya İl Kültür ve Turizm Müdürlüğü: "Kına Gecesi" (Kültürel Detaylar, Evlenme Âdetleri).
  • "Amasya Yöresi Söz Nişan Düğün Adetleri". dugundernek.org. dugundernek.org
  • "Amasya Yöresi Düğün Adetleri ve Gelenekleri". zurnadavul.com. zurnadavul.com
  • "Amasya Yöresel Kültür ve Adetler". turkeyoutdoor.org.
  • "'Çeyiz asma' geleneği Amasya'da yaşatılıyor". News report, 4 September 2024.

Online sources